Inuyasha: Cavern Foulplay
by Sonata-Time-Nocturne-Flare-Aoi
Summary: Complete! What happens when the heroes and villains of Inuyasha get stuck in a pitchblack cavern? A lot of arguing, hilarity, and foul play ensues! See what becomes of them! Rated T for language and crude humor.
1. Chapter 1

**Inuyasha: Cavern Foulplay**

**By**: Time Master (T.M.)

**Genre**: Humor

**Written**: July 2007

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**Disclaimer**: I do not own Inuyasha, or the rest of the cast. I do take responsibility for their misfortunes, though.

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**Inuyasha's Side**

It was a stormy evening in Feudal Japan. Inuyasha and his gang were caught in the sudden downpour while traveling to Naraku's castle.

"Inuyasha! We have to find shelter quick! I'm getting soaked!" Kagome said, irritated.

"What are you talking about? It's just rain, its not going to kill you!" Inuyasha shot back.

This irritated Kagome even more.

"Inuyasha, SIT!"

**CRASH!**

Inuyasha immediately crashes into the ground, his outline pressed into the dirt.

As Inuyasha was busy getting himself unstuck out of the giant hole in the ground, Miroku and Sango looked for a place they could use for shelter until the storm subsided.

"How about that cave over there?" Miroku said, pointing to a small cavern just dwon the road from where they stood.

"That's perfect. Now let's go before we're completely soaked," Sango said.

"Don't worry, Sango, I'll keep you dry and warm when we get there," Miroku said, feeling up Sango from behind.

**SLAP!!!**

"You never learn, don't you?" Shippo said, rolling his eyes.

After some deliberation, the group finally made their way to the cavern.

**Sesshomaru's Side**

"Tell me again why we are dragging Koga with us, Lord Sesshomaru?" Jaken asked.

Sesshomaru and Jaken were in another part of the area, dragging a tied up Koga behind them.

"I told you already, this wolf-demon refuses to tell us where Inuyasha is, so we are going to torture him until he does," Sesshomaru says.

"But Lord Sesshomaru, wouldn't it be wise to find a dry place to do so soon? The rain is really picking up!" Jaken whined.

It wasn't long before the neared a cavern down the road from them.

"Fine. We'll use this cave to carry out the interrogation," Sesshomaru said, as he entered, Koga and Jaken following from behind.

**Naraku's Side**

"There's a Sacred Jewel Shard near. I must have it."

Naraku and Kagura were in another location in search for Sacred Jewel Shards. Their search leads them near a small opening in a large mountain.

"Are you sure a shard is located here?" Kagura questioned. "It seems a bit out of the way…"

"Nonsense! I know its here. Once I have it, I will rule all of Feudal Japan," Naraku proclaimed evilly.

**Inside The Cavern**

_**Author's note: Keep in mind that this cavern is pitch black, and visibility is almost non-existent here.**_

It wasn't long until all three parties were inside the same cave.

"Whew, finally! I'm glad to get out of the rain. I'm soaked!" Kagome said.

"Did you say something?" Naraku said to Kagura.

"Huh? Lord Sesshomaru, since when did your voice get all girly in all?" Jaken questioned.

"What? Hey, Inuyasha, why do I get the feeling we aren't alone in this cave?" Shippo asked.

Inuyasha sniffs the air.

"That's because we're not!" Inuyasha growled. "I smell the scent of Naraku, Koga, Sesshomaru, and Kagura!"

"Huh?" Are you serious?" Miroku said.

"I knew it…" Sesshomaru said. "Inuyasha, show yourself!"

"Inuyasha…and Sesshomaru? Good, now I can kill both of them at the same time!" Naraku plotted.

"Just one little problem…how on earth will you be able to see them?" Kagura shot back.

"OKAY, EVERYBODY JUST SHUT UP!" Inuyasha yelled out loud. Soon, everyone got quiet. "Would someone please tell me what's going on here?"

"I came here to torture Koga into telling me where to find you," Sesshomaru stated.

"Kagura and I came searching for a Sacred Jewel Shard, only to find you here instead," Naraku said.

"Sacred Jewel Shard? You mean the one on my necklace?" Kagome said.

"I told you were wrong," Kagura said to Naraku.

"I don't like this one bit. Let's get out of here!" Shippo said.

"That's not going to be easy. I think we wandered in too deep to feel around for the exit," Sango said.

"Oh great. We're lost in a pitch black cave with our arch enemies," Inuyasha said, angry at the situation.

"I guess we wait until the storm clears and let some sunshine illuminate the exits," Kagome said.

"Just perfect. It's the perfect place to defeat my enemies and I can't even see them!" Inuyasha muttered.

"Anyone got a match?" Shippo asked.

"I think I have one," Jaken said, reaching for his sack.

"H-Hey! Quit touch my leg you green freak!" Kagura said, kicking Jaken away from her.

"Heh, looks like I'm not the only pervert around here," Miroku said, feeling up Sango.

"Why are you touching my ass?" Sesshomaru said sternly to Miroku.

"What?! That wasn't Sango I was feeling up?" Miroku gulped.

"This is a waste of time. I'm going to try to find a way out of here," Naraku said, turning the other way, only to trip and fall over Koga, ripping off the cloth that bounded his mouth.

"Bleh!!! It's a bout damn time someone removed this cloth from over my mouth! All of you are a bunch of idiots!" Koga complained.

"Shut up, wolf-breath," Inuyasha said.

"Make me, dog-boy," Koga shot back.

"You asked for it! IRON REAVER SOUL STEALER!" Inuyasha called out.

**RIIIP!!!**

"My clothes! You ripped up my favorite clothes!" Kagura whined.

"Damn, and I can't see the result either," Miroku commented in a disappointing tone.

"You lecher!" Sango said, annoyed by Miroku's dirty mind.

**SLAP!!!**

"Ow!!! Sango, why did you slap me?" Kagome said.

"I'm sorry!" Sango said, embarrassed.

"This is getting annoying…" Sesshomaru sighed.

"Gee ya think?" Koga said to him. "Just wait until I untie myself and ring your neck for kidnapping me in the first place!"

"Now I'd like to see that," Naraku said. "It'll save me time in disposing of you two.

"Okay, everybody just calm down. We can kill each other when we get out!" Kagome said to everyone. "It'll be a while before the storm passes."

"Kagome's right. It's no use bickering in our current situation," Sango added.

"Whatever," Sesshomaru stated, sitting down on the ground.

Inuyasha sighed.

"I should have stayed in bed today…" Inuyasha said, slumping onto the ground. "Someone hand me a jug of water."

"I'll get it," Shippo said, grabbing something soft and round near him.

"Who's touching my chest?" Sango grumbled, really annoyed.

"Uh oh..." Shippo gulped.

**SLAP!**

_**End of Chapter 1**_


	2. Chapter 2

As everyone continued to sit around in the dark cave, the storm outside continued, with no signs of letting up anytime soon.

"I'm bored…" Shippo said, yawning as he laid on the floor of the cavern.

"I hate to admit it, but the little runt is right," Inuyasha said. "I can't see a damn thing. I can't even fight my own enemies without hitting someone else!"

"Just relax for a while, Inuyasha," Kagome said to him.

"How the heck can I relax when I'm so close to Naraku and Sesshomaru? For all I know, they could be plotting something as we speak!" Inuyasha grumbles.

Naraku let out a low, evil chuckle shortly after Inuyasha spoke.

"See?! What did I tell you? He's probably going to use his purple miasma to poison us or something," Inuyasha continued.

"Inuyasha…SIT!" Sesshomaru said.

**WHAM!!!**

Inuyasha was once again lying down on the ground with a small crater outlining his body.

"H-hey! I thought I was the only one who could do that to Inuyasha," Kagome said, a bit surprised.

"It was the only way to shut him up," Sesshomaru said.

"That was the most amusing thing that's happened so far in this damn cave," Koga said, chuckling.

"Maybe, but it wasn't as good as Shippo touching Sango's chest earlier," Miroku said.

**WHAP!!!**

Songo slaps Miroku across the head after what he said.

"Wow…you actually hit me instead of someone else…" Miroku commented.

"Well that's because you haven't moved away from me at all since we've been here," Sango moaned.

"Uh oh…" Shippo says, interrupting the conversation.

"What is it?" Kagome asks.

"I have to go to the little fox's room…" Shippo says in a somewhat strained tone.

"Well just go to away from the group and do your business there!" Inuyasha grumbled, getting up off of the ground.

"Uh…right!" Shippo says, wandering through the dark cavern until he arrived at what he thinks is a good area.

_**PSSSSSSSSSSSS**_

"Ahhhhhhh…much better…" Shippo says in relief.

"H-HEY! WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?! WHO'S POURING WATER ON ME?" Jaken says in a 'WTF' tone.

"Huh?! Heheh…whoops…sorry, didn't know you were there…" Shippo says, backing away slowly away from where Jaken's voice came from.

"YOU GET BACK HERE!!!" Jaken said, making his way through the dark, trying to follow the sound of Shipp's footsteps.

Shippo managed to get away from Jaken and hide behind Miroku. Jaken, however, approaches someone else by accident.

"I got you now, Shippo!" Jaken says tackling the nearest person to him.

**WHUMP…CRASH!!!**

"Alright, who just jumped me?" Kagura growled, who was now lying on the ground with Jaken lying on top of her.

"Huh…?! You mean it wasn't Shippo I just jumped?" Jaken said in an embarrassing tone, before being kicked away like a football by Kagura.

"Lord Sesshomaru, Kagura just kicked me! Do something!!!" Jaken pleaded as he pried himself off the cavern walls from Kagura's attack.

Sesshomaru simply clapped slowly with approval from Kagura's actions.

"You know what? All of you are getting on my nerves even more," Koga moaned.

"Tell me about it…" Naraku sighed.

"Oh shut up will you, Koga?" Inuyasha said.

"You shut up!!!" Koga shot back.

"Here we go again…" Miroku sighed.

About an hour later, as Inuyasha and Koga continued to argue, some light began to shine into the cavern.

"Huh…? Hey look everyone, the sun's out! The storm has finally stopped!" Shippo said with much enthusiasm.

"Hey, he's right! I can make out the path to the exit," Kagome said.

"Did you hear that, Lord Sesshomaru? We can finally leave!" Jaken said with glee.

"It's about time. C'mon, Naraku, let's go back to the castle," Kagura said.

"Oh no you don't! Don't think for one moment that you can just walk away from here without a fight," Inuyasha said, clenching his fist.

"Oh give it a rest, will you?" Sango said to Inuyasha.

"But…but this is the perfect chance to take him and my brother down!!!" Inuyasha protested.

"You can fight them later, Inuyasha. For now let's just leave. We've had enough excitement for one day," Miroku said.

Inuyasha growls angrily, then hesitantly turned away from his enemies.

"Lousy good for nothings…" Inuyasha growls as he and his party begin to exit the cavern.

"Well then, let us be going ourselves," Sesshomaru said as he left through the exit he original came in from.

"Wait for me Lord Sesshomaru!!!" Jaken said, running to catch up to him.

"Shall we?" Kagura said, as she and Naraku left through their own path.

Another time will come when their fates will be interlocked in another ridiculous situation.

_**Fini!**_

Please review!

Lookout for the next Inuyasha fics: Inuyasha: Castle Foulplay, and Inuyasha: The Dangers of Modern Times, coming August 2007.


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